Monday, December 13, 2010

So Many Emotions

I don't know why but every day I find myself go through so many emotions. Why can't I just get a hold of myself and have only one all day, happy! Why is it sometimes such a struggle to just be happy? I am in need of a vacation/move. I want to give up everything here. I'm tired of the fake people, the fake friends, the fake relationships, the fake affection, the fake of everything here. As you can see "fake hating" is my emotion right now. :) I guess I just need to focus more on the positives in my life. Cause there are so many, but I get too caught up in life and let that take over. I also find myself not letting go of things I REALLY need to let go of (well one thing really). How to do it, I am struggling with quite bad right now. But hopefully I can eventually figure it out, I pray all the time for it but I sincerely fear I never will....oh well.
On a brighter emotion I went on a couple blind dates last week. They both turned out to be not too bad! Although I can already say one is not a keeper, but the other one could be a possibility? Who knows though, we will see. Maybe I'll just do what I normally do and push him away before he can hurt me. I already find myself wanting to do that,....I guess we will see.