Monday, December 13, 2010

So Many Emotions

I don't know why but every day I find myself go through so many emotions. Why can't I just get a hold of myself and have only one all day, happy! Why is it sometimes such a struggle to just be happy? I am in need of a vacation/move. I want to give up everything here. I'm tired of the fake people, the fake friends, the fake relationships, the fake affection, the fake of everything here. As you can see "fake hating" is my emotion right now. :) I guess I just need to focus more on the positives in my life. Cause there are so many, but I get too caught up in life and let that take over. I also find myself not letting go of things I REALLY need to let go of (well one thing really). How to do it, I am struggling with quite bad right now. But hopefully I can eventually figure it out, I pray all the time for it but I sincerely fear I never will....oh well.
On a brighter emotion I went on a couple blind dates last week. They both turned out to be not too bad! Although I can already say one is not a keeper, but the other one could be a possibility? Who knows though, we will see. Maybe I'll just do what I normally do and push him away before he can hurt me. I already find myself wanting to do that,....I guess we will see.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Dear God, please kick him in the butt. love, me

Went out with the girls tonight and had a freaking blast! We finally all 4 got to get out, let loose, and dance our little hearts out. It was Hallowfunkaween dance and so we all dressed up in our Halloween costumes. Megan was a cone head (HILARIOUS), Kimmi was a cute little car mechanic girl, Molly was an incredible Jazzersize total 80's girl, and I was Kat Von D from LA Ink! Funny story, when we got there everyone was saying that the dance was sold out and they aren't letting anybody else in. My very closest friends are the ones throwing it so I was like, "oh I got this, no big deal"....well we were stuck outside with some bouncer that was so stubborn and wouldn't let ANYONE through to even get to where I could get to my friends. So........we decide to take matters into our own hands. There was a semi truck blocking the other side of the gate, so we nonchalantly walked over to it, dropped down REAL quick and crawled under the truck which was very small actually. I would say there was only about a foot and a half of room so we were on our stomachs going as fast as we could before we got caught! Then we snuck behind the semi and through the gate crouching so no one spotted us! So first gate...Succeeded. Now for the second, we see a door open to the dance floor so we immediately try and get in. The bouncer of course is like nope, no way to get in. So I start dropping names...My best friend is Dan Gardner the guy who is throwing this party and he of course says "nope". So then I say, OK, if I can get my friend Dan Spirgen who is head of security to come over here will you let us in....and he says, ok, go on in. WE ARE IN!!! But then some guy that is higher than him gets mad at us and says, "why did you guys get in?!" And I said, Dan Gardner is one of my best friends, we handed out fliers for this party with him and we were suppose to get in here for free. So his response, "ok then lets go talk to him and see if you are telling the truth!" And I say "OK!!!!!!! I want to see him anyways!" Sum it all up, he saw that we really were best friends and we danced our little butts off all night long!

Feelings: I have found myself loving going to these things but even though I have so much fun I still go home feeling an emptiness inside me. I think I am tired of this scene and just ready for a steady someone in my life. I have so much fun but I've put my years in, and I have had my fun. I am ready for a new chapter, the chapter with a special someone in it. I just want to find someone that adores me the way I adore them....and spend my nights with him instead. well one day right? Hopefully soon. I'm so tired of these games and roller coaster up and downs. Where the freak is he?!! God needs to kick him in the butt and send him my way

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Up Close and Personal

Ok, so once again I am trying something new. In life, I just need an out sometimes. Weather its a good thing or a bad thing, I just need an out. So here's my new experiment, I'm am going to write about EVERYTHING on here! Weather its an amazing date I went on or the worst date. A blessing and miracle I experience, or a freaking crappy hard trial. haha. I'm changing my life....for the better. I am going to be the Heather I once was..... only a bit wiser :) I love my life and I love who I am.... There is just so much more potential that I know I'm holding myself back from. So here is my journey back to that, up close and person. So don't judge!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Kings of Leon Concert


I am so lucky to have a friend like Kit (picture to the right). He works for the radio station 99.5 and everytime there is a concert going on in Utah he always gets free tickets to them! And I'm lucky enough to get to go! So this concert was Kings of Leon! I have to admit, I really only knew their 2 most popular songs but I did like those so I figured I'd like the rest. I actually LOVED them and as soon as I had a chance downloaded a TON of Kings of Leon. Very good, look them up and give them a chance if you haven't already!These are my friends Markus and Suzanne. Kit said I could invite one other person to the concert with me. And when I was telling Suzanne earlier that I was going she expressed her excitement about it! So.... I brought her along with me!
Ok next story. My friend Dana Hill is HILARIOUS. And he looks and acts just like the guy from the movie 'The Hangover', Zach Galifianakis. And everytime without fail when we all go out, some randoms come up and ask if they can have a picture with him. LOL. So we decided to make that happen. All of us started just taking pictures with Dana and sure enough! Some random dudes came over all excited and asked him if they could get a picture with him. hahahaha It was hilarious.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Beautiful Flower

This is a song for every girl who's
Ever been through something she thought she couldn't make it through
I sing these words because
I was that girl too
Wanting something better than this
But who do I turn to

Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient

This is a song for every girl who
Feels like she is not special
'Cause she don't look like a supermodel Coke bottle
The next time the radio tells you to shake your moneymaker
[ Beautiful Flower lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Shake your head and tell them, tell them you're a leader

Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient

Yeah, you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient

Yeah, you, this song is for you
Yeah, you, this song is for you
Yeah, you, this song is for you
Yeah, you, yeah, you
You are brilliant

I love the lyrics to this song. Not that I'm going through anything super hard right now, just speaks to me right now. Reminds me that I'm strong and I can get through anything. We are all going to have our ups and downs in life, but that's what builds our character.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Life Detox

So I have decided my life is too out of wack lately! So I have started talking about doing a life detox :) I'm quite excited actually. What this includes is taking whats good in my life and amplifying it...if possible. For example Yoga, healthy foods, family, friends...maybe get back to my scripture reading that I have totally fallen away from. And the rest that causes stress, broken heart (aka stupid boys), frustration, unstable, I kick out of my life!

I have been wanting to organize my room COMPLETELY. Ever since Molly moved in with me its been a bit of chaos. So that was another thing that was part of my detox, which I achieved yesterday :) Number one on my list...check!

Also, once again I have TOTALLY slacked on my blog. So coming soon will be a quick fast forward of my life these last few months....a lot has happened!!! Well, day 2 of Detox has already started out good. Lets hope I can keep this up!

p.s. ECLIPSE IS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHH I'M SO EXCITED!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

New Project

So I have always wanted to do this, but I've always lived in an apartment, condo, townhouse where I couldn't really. (or it just wasn't as fun) But now I live in a cute little house so I thought, "perfect opportunity!" I have wanted to plant my own little flowers and watch them grow! Take care of them, etc. :) So I had a Saturday with NOTHING on the agenda! So I thought...I'm planting my flowers! I'm going to actually do it! I called my mom, got the flower tips from her, and went on my way to Lowes Nursery. I worked long and hard all day Saturday in the sun, weeding, breaking up the dirt, digging holes for the flowers and making them a nice little home :) It turned out SO GOOD! I love coming home and seeing them, it just brightens up the house. The true test is going to be if they last and bloom bigger.....we'll see!

This is the before picture...


And here is the after picture!!!


Ok so you can't tell a HUGE difference yet, but wait till these flowers really grow and you'll REALLY see! I'm going to post another picture in 2 weeks so you guys can see the progress with me :)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Yoga


So I have discovered my new obsession. Yoga! My roommate Kimmi told me this place called Soel (which is as really cute yoga boutique) is having half off their yoga for one month unlimited. I have kind of wanted to pick it up but just never got the motivation to do it. So I thought, perfect, I'm going to start! I went and bought a yoga mat and got all ready. I really didn't know what to expect going for my first time. I just thought it would be some good stretching and relaxation for the body....NOPE! Its a hard core workout! And I LOVE it! I was so sore the first few times doing it. I still get sore in certain areas depending on what the class is. Anyways, needless to say, I'm addicted! Its the perfect workout for my body, I can see now why people that do yoga are so toned! Its very hard work to try and do the things they do. Which you won't be able to do some of the stuff for a good while, body just doesn't have the strength yet. And also the best workout for the soul. You have such an inner peace and happiness when you are done with the class. Its amazing, anyone who hasn't done it NEEDS to give it a try. But at an actual yoga place, cause that's where you get the real experience.

New goal: By the end of summer to be able to do the pincha mayurasana pose. And others that I can't do right now. Oh ya, hold a hand stand. :)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I'll start back at my San Diego Trip

So My cousin Megan and I decided we needed a fun little trip for just the two of us. Get away from cold Provo and relax somewhere warm :) For some reason I have wanted to go to the San Diego Zoo! So I said, "Lets go to San Diego!" Megan has a friend that lives there and it just fell perfectly into place. Another plus is I have a very good friend that lives in Santa Barbara. Which is actually pretty far away but we made the trip anyways! Well, enough of the explaining. I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking...

Story about this picture. This is the day Megan and I drove up to Santa Barbara to see my friend Joshua. He took us to one of this favorite places to watch the sunset at. It was so beautiful cause you hike through a really pretty path through some thick trees and then it opens up to a big field. Then all of a sudden you are at the cliffs! So we found a comfy little spot (as you can see in the picture) and was watching the sunset. What even made it 10x better is while we were peacefully sitting there watching the ocean we saw some dolphins!!! It was so exciting to see, then a huge surprise we actually saw a WHALE!!! Of course, knowing Megan and I we started freaking out. So it was a remarkable night. Watching the sunset over the cliffs and the ocean (which as you know me, is one of my favorite things in the world) watching dolphins play, and a whale. It was a pretty dang good day for us :)

Yes we went to the San Diego Zoo!!!


So everyone told us when we go to Encinitas we have to eat breakfast at this place called Pipes. So we went on the search for it and found it! It seriously was INCREDIBLE! Just as good as everyone said it would be. We actually ended up eating breakfast there again the next day cause we loved it so much. It's such a cool little local place too, all the surfers right before they go out to catch the waves. Its right by the ocean. So if you ever go to Encinitas... go there for breakfast!!!


BEACH DAY!!!

So Michelle (the angel that let us stay at her place) lives 4 mins walking distance from the beach!


Last night there we took a drive all down the coast in Megan's convertible bug. Top down, watching the sun set over the ocean with the surfers in the waves. Honestly it was such a beautiful, peaceful drive. Best way to end the trip.

The End...

Monday, April 26, 2010

Its been SO LONG!

Wow, so its been forever since I have updated this. I'm kind of ashamed but honestly I've been SO BUSY lately. And I got facebook back and I waste a lot of time on there now instead of my blog. But now I am going to get back on here and stick to my new years goal of doing this! So a LOT has happened since my last post. All the drama is over and I have turned a new leaf! I'm so happy now and so much has happened that I want to update you on! It will take me a while though, so just be patient!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Just when you think its over....sike! Its not...

...honestly I just want to scream. That helps sometimes right?

Monday, February 15, 2010

So I'm really excited cause my cousin Megan and I are moving out together tomorrow morning. I love this girl with all my heart and I'm so grateful for her in my life. She helps me in ways no one else can and has always been the light of my day. She also understands me more than anyone else does, its going to be fun to get a place that's just hers and mine :) I think this will be the start of a new chapter for both of us, and we are both DEFINITELY ready for a new chapter. Wish us luck!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

For Cherice, Tyler, and Jake....



And this one is especially for you Tyler....

...So cute :)

Monday, February 8, 2010

Good Day

Today was a good day! I forgot to tell you something. Our Bishopric challenged us a few weeks ago on a few things. One of the big ones was read the whole Book of Mormon by April 11th and highlight everything that talked about Jesus Christ. I have loved it because it has made me pay attention SO much more as I read and I feel for the first time I actually am reading a book instead of just scriptures. That sounds bad but I don't mean it in a bad way. I get into the stories and genuinely don't want to stop till I get done with the whole story. Not just the chapter. Anyways, I have loved it. My days are better too. Today was a good start for the week. Worked out again this morning. Day 1 for this week. I'm really starting to enjoy it now instead of just a dread but making myself do it. Well those are just a few thoughts for me today. I've had a smile on my face most the day :) It feels good to get back there again.

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Valentine's day is coming up so I thought I'd make my page a little more festive for the holiday :) My last week has been pretty boring, nothing really to blog about but sometimes, no news is good news! I actually had made a goal for myself on Sunday to work out at least 4-5 times this week. I achieved the goal! I went 5 days and it feels great. Although I do have to say, I though working out in the morning is suppose to make you more chipper all day... it definitely doesn't for me! This week I was so groggy and blah. That's the best way to describe my week actually. Groggy and Blah. But we did have a really nice girls night Wednesday. We made curry and just chatted up a storm with the girls. That was fun cause we don't get to get together very often anymore. Well I wish I had more exciting things to blog about but this will just have to do for now :)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

SMILE

There is a song I heard today, an old classic, that just hit the spot today. Its called "Smile" by Nat King Cole. Here are the Lyrics...

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through, for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

...I added a version of this song on my play list, so go through the songs if you want to hear it. Its a really pretty version.

Also my brother Tyler sent me a quote yesterday that I loved.
"When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."
-Helen Keller

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Awful Day

Today was an awful day. A day full of tears and heartache. I don't know how much more of this I can take, hopefully its all over now and can only go up from here. Thank goodness for my family and friends. I couldn't get through any of this without them. And of course the Lord. I pray its over and there will be no more pain caused.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Car Crash


So sad little story, my good little friend Kimmi, and her friend John, and I were heading up to the Canyons to go snowboarding! We were all pretty excited for it all week and on our way we went! The next thing ya know we are going about 50 mph and start hydroplaning and lose control of the car. We go completely sideways and head straight for a tractor lot. It was kinda slow motion for all of us which gave us time to brace ourselves for the hit. We were going about 35-40 mph and hit right into a tractor and telephone pole. The police officer said thank goodness we hit the telephone pole because we would have went right into the tractor and done more damage to us! All and all, after the hit we all did a quick check and no one was hurt! So sad to say but we didn't quite make it to the slopes today :( There's always Monday though! (it will be less busy anyways)
oh p.s. this isn't my car, it was Kimmi's. :(

Friday, January 22, 2010

VAMPIRE DIARIES!!!


So I am a true lover of Vampire Diaries. I'm to the point of forget Twilight! Vampire Diaries is WAY better! The cast is way hotter, and the acting is better too. Don't get me wrong, the twilight books were INCREDIBLE, I'm just talking movies/shows. If you haven't watched them, TRUST ME, its worth the watch. They finally had episode 11 tonight which I've been waiting for at least a month and a half for! Its really probably not the best thing for me to watch right now considering my situation I'm in, but I can't help it. Tonight's episode was SO GOOD, I can't believe how awful a person Damon can be though! And how gorgeously hot Stephen can be, and so sweet, and loving, and strong, and humble, I could go on for a while. Well, can't wait for next week!!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Aquarium

My cousin Megan and I decided on Monday that it would be so fun to go to the Aquarium! I've actually been wanting to go for quite a while so needless to say...I was excited. The big ocean creatures were the coolest! They had all kinds that were so fun to see. They even had a huge shark tank, which was really cool to see, they swim right up to the glass. This is a huge ugly eel....gross.



Then there were really cool jellyfish! I love those things, they really do fascinate me and remind me a lot of Avatar!!! Oh and this is my adorable, fun cousin Megan!



I've never actually seen an octopus in real life before! It was really cool, look at its scary eye!



And we got to pet the stingrays! They feel so weird, fist time ever seeing one of these in real life too!

Sunday, January 17, 2010


So we had a fabulous girls night with some of the old Von Curtis girls (minus a few that were late) at our lovely Sparks! Where they have delicious "moctails" is what we call them. This one here is called Double Berry....something. But it was SO GOOD! Definitely love this place and I will go there quite a bit more.

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Bachelor!!!



WARNING: IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED BACHELOR YET, DO NOT CONTINUE TO READ. So Bachelor is one of the "few" shows I love! I know, I know, its so unrealistic...blah, blah, blah. But I don't care! I still love it, and get so excited about it! So tonight's episode was CRAZY! Let me just say though, I totally called it that it was Rozlyn who is the little slut. But poor Jake is so innocent and naive that he didn't see it like the rest of us did. I think we ALL new it was coming with her. My favorite girls are... Tenly, because she is just such a sweet girl with a sweet little spirit, and adorable too. Also has good morals and I love that about her, Ali is just a doll!! You can tell she has a good heart and is there for a reason. How cute was their all day one on one date! You can tell they both have that natural attraction, and genuinely care for each other. And lets not forget their AMAZING kiss!!!!! Kathryn for some reason I think is just so cute. She hasn't gotten very much camera time though so who knows! But so far I'm REALLY glad Jake kept her. Next is Corrie, for some reason I just think she seems cute and his type. And last, I'm starting to like Gia for some reason! She's starting to seem more real, at first I thought she was all into herself but I'm starting to warm up to her. I can't wait for next week!!!!
P.S. Elizabeth was a little awkward

Saturday, January 9, 2010



As we all lazily woke up this morning (the way you should on a Saturday) we had a fun little start to the day! Rick turned on some fun tunes and we all danced around in the front room :) The kids were loving it and so were we! Even little sawyer was giving some good smiles


Well I finally went snowboarding! I forget how amazing it is until I go for the first time of the season and I fall in love with it all over again. Its so beautiful up there and peaceful. Although I do wish there was a little more powder, but thats ok, it wasn't my last run of the season! I hope to go quite a bit more. I need to learn my lesson and just buy a pass for next year. In this picture is my friend Dan Gardner and his girlfriend Mikaela. They were a blast to be with up there :)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

One of those days


Its January 7th and I'm just having one of those days. I'm physically tired but more so emotionally exhausted. I've been looking for a place to live for about a month now and still no success on that. And my 8 month long relationship has taken a turn, and now I'm trying everything I can to do what is right. Its so hard and I'm beginning to realize that this is why I didn't date anyone seriously for 3 years after my engagement. But I have learned an incredible amount and I've grown from it a lot, and continuing to grow even more. So I wouldn't take back a day of it! I have faith that everything will work out the way it is suppose to, just as long as I'm doing what is right, and putting that effort in. Anyways, I'm going snowboarding tomorrow and I'm so excited for that. I haven't been at all this winter so it will be refreshing to just ride in peace on those beautiful mountains. (hopefully powder)
P.S. I added new songs, hope you like them!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Amber and Rick blessed baby Sawyer this last Sunday, January 3rd. It was a beautiful blessing and he was so good through it all! He's starting to smile and react to you now and its SO CUTE! Anyways, this is a picture of Rick's side of the family and me :) (as you can see Amelie wasn't a very happy camper during pics. haha) I'm so grateful I'm able to be so close to them now and participate in these special events.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Welcome 2010!!!




So my new years resolution this year is to be better at keeping a journal...which is why i'm going to do this blog! So we'll see how well I keep this up. Although I'm getting quite excited about it now that I kinda know how this works. And I'll only learn more! Here are a few pictures that started this year off... This is a picture of Lea whom I really just got to know that night, and then one of my best friends Matt West.

Well its been 4 months and a lot has happened but sadly I haven't blogged about any of it. So it is my new years resolution to keep up on this thing. I need to learn how to use it first, so my sister Amber is going to show me how. Then I have no excuses to not do it.
So instead of trying to catch up on everything that's happened, I'm just going to start new. New year, new life.